Two Interview Sonnets by Dan Gutstein


Interview with an Animal Control Officer Who Must Respond to a Call Concerning the Presence of an Unwanted Lupus

Does one say Lupusses or Lupi
if one has to keep track of more than one?
(I hope it’s a single Lupus.) Where’s the Lupus?
Kind of like Where’s the party?
only it’s hardly a party, it’s a Lupus.
The Lupus is not a simulation.
The Lupus is not a taxidermy.
I hope the Lupus is not very Lupussy.
Performing Lupus de Lupus
at the circus in an airplane or a bicycle.
I need to know—its general whereabouts—
—& leanings—& vaccination record—
b/c I need to keep some very important people
(I mean supervisors) in the Lupus.




Interview with a Man Who Named His Dog ‘The Turk’

What about a business where you’d sell
low seats & footstools only
that is, Ottomans
imagine a sprawling warehouse &
loud commercials on local TV channels ‘til
you gobble up the entire footstools &
low seats market, I’d call it—Ottoman Empire—
excuse me a second: HEY! NO!
come here YESH!
did you try to eat the cactus bird?
who’s the fishbreath are you the fishbreath?
who wears the dogsuit do you wear the dogsuit?
who’s The Turk are you The Turk?
Atta Turk! Atta Turk!




Dan Gutstein is the author of non/fiction (stories) and Bloodcoal & Honey (poems). His writing has appeared in more than 85 journals and anthologies. He blogs at


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