my husband comments on
how I’ve let myself go since we’ve been married
how ever since I’ve had the kids
I’ve gotten fleshy and old. I want to tell him
how I have to look this way now, that if
I was still young and beautiful
I could never leave the house. if I looked
even the slightest bit attractive when I
left the house
I would attract other men
and I would probably cheat on him.
and I don’t want to hurt my husband
and I don’t want to hurt my kids
if I was even the tiniest bit beautiful
if I looked like I did when I was 20
I’m dumb enough I might blow all this.
really, this charade of frumpiness
is a sacrifice I made for domesticity
these glasses are designed to hide the blue of my eyes
this nasty sweatshirt and matching sweatpants
hide the fleshy curves of my hips and ass and
the still-beautiful breasts meant only for him.
