The Spanish Whip
(A Ten-Minute Play)

by

George Freek

 

THE CHARACTERS

ARTHUR, An analyst, 30s

DENISE, An attorney, 30s

GIL, Denise's husband, an attorney, 30s

THE PLACE

GIL's apartment

THE TIME

Recently

 

(GIL is on the telephone. DENISE watches him, uneasily)

GIL

Yes, I'd like to talk to you, too, Arthur. (DENISE looks surprised). Fine, I'll be here. (He hangs up.) That was Arthur.

DENISE

Yes, Gil, I heard.

GIL

It seems he wants to talk to me about something.

DENISE

Did he say what?

GIL

I thought you might know.

DENISE

I haven't any idea.

GIL

It's just that I thought it might have something to do with why you're here.

DENISE

He doesn't know I'm here.

GIL

Look, would you like a drink or something?

DENISE

(Pause)

What would be the something, Gil?

GIL

You know my father used to have an answer for that question, but it was rather ridiculous, so I've forgotten what it was.

DENISE

I'm sorry. I was trying to be funny, but that's not why I'm here.

GIL

So tell me. Why are you here?

DENISE

I have something rather important to tell you.

GIL

All right. I'm listening.

DENISE

But now that I'm here, I find it rather difficult to talk about.

GIL

Then don't.

DENISE

But I need to say it.

GIL

Look, Denise, I think I know what you're going to say.

DENISE

You might have been able to figure it out, I suppose.

GIL

I think I know you, and I know how you feel. And your feelings do you credit.

DENISE

I'm glad you feel that way, Gil.

GIL

It's really a matter of facing reality.

DENISE

You're certainly making it easier for me. Do you mind if I smoke?

GIL

I don't think you need a cigarette to get through this.

DENISE

I must admit you're making me feel much better about things.

GIL

Look, I know you've come to tell me you're ashamed of what happened the other night, and I just want you to know that you have nothing to be ashamed of.

DENISE

That's what you think I came to say?

GIL

And you have nothing to be ashamed of, Denise, because what happened was entirely my fault. I mean if anyone should feel embarrassed, then I should.

DENISE

So, are you embarrassed?

GIL

Yes, I am.

DENISE

You are? I think I'm going to light that cigarette now, Gil. (She does so).

GIL

Look, Denise, I'm saying you have nothing to be ashamed of because I took advantage of you in a vulnerable moment. For one thing, we'd both been drinking. Actually, we'd been drinking a lot, and you were confiding some very personal things to me. I mean you were telling me how unhappy you were. You felt lonely, possibly even rejected, and you felt insecure. And what did I do about it?

DENISE

You went to bed with me.

GIL

Exactly! I took advantage of your insecurity at a vulnerable moment, and I am very much ashamed of that.

DENISE

I think you're being too hard on yourself, Gil.

GIL

Well, anyway, you came here to tell me you were ashamed and embarrassed and I am telling you there is no reason for it.

DENISE

Actually, that wasn't what I came to tell you, Gil.

GIL

No?

DENISE

I came to tell you I'm leaving Arthur.

GIL

You're telling me you're leaving Arthur? Have you told Arthur?

DENISE

No. I'm telling you first.

GIL

I have to admit I'm surprised.

DENISE

You're surprised I'm telling you first?

GIL

I'm surprised you're leaving Arthur.

DENISE

And I'm surprised that you're surprised.

GIL

Denise, may I say something?

DENISE

I was hoping you might.

GIL

I think you're making a mistake.

DENISE

You do?

GIL

Look, I want you to know that I understand how you feel.

DENISE

Well, I think I gave you a pretty good idea the other night.

GIL

But I also know how you feel because after being married a certain number of years, everyone feels that way. Things fall into a pattern, a boring routine. It seems like the romance has gone. You aren't told ‘I love you' as often. You don't say it as often—

DENISE

There's usually a good reason for that.

GIL

Oh, believe me, I know all about it, Denise, because I went through it with Deborah.

DENISE

And I'm assuming that was why you separated.

GIL

But we're getting back together.

DENISE

(staring) You are?

GIL

We're getting back together because, while we were in a rut, we came to understand that this rut was a result of taking each other for granted and thinking solely of ourselves. We had imperceptibly become selfish and inconsiderate. Now let me tell you something else. And I say this as his friend, not as his analyst, Arthur loves you. He loves you very much.

DENISE

It's not Arthur's feelings that have me worried, Gil.

GIL

Well, if you came to me for advice, the best I can give you is to think about that love and to appreciate it. Believe me love like that is not easy to come by these days.

DENISE

I'm beginning to realize that.

GIL

Then that is a good thing.

DENISE

But Gil—

(And then the doorbell suddenly rings. They look at each other. It rings once again)

GIL

I'd say that was Arthur. Do you want to see him?

DENISE

Um, I think not.

GIL

You can always go out the back way.

(She looks at him. Then, without a word, DENISE exits. GIL then answers the door.   ARTHUR enters and looks around.)

ARTHUR

I hope I'm not interrupting. Are you alone?

GIL

Entirely so.

ARTHUR

I thought I heard voices.

GIL

Actually, you did. I always tape my sessions. It helps to listen to them later. It gives one a fresh perspective.

ARTHUR

That's true. You know I think we lawyers ought to do that.

GIL

(Hearty) And so, you wanted to talk to me. What can I do for you?

ARTHUR

Well, for one thing, I want to thank you.

GIL

Thank me for what?

ARTHUR

What you did for Denise, naturally.

GIL

(Slightly taken aback) What did I do for her?

ARTHUR

She said you gave her a jump. Her car wouldn't start. You came along and helped.

GIL

(Relieved) Oh, that! It was nothing.

ARTHUR

Be that as it may, my friend, I appreciate what you did for my wife.

GIL

Don't be silly.

ARTHUR

I'm not. You helped her when she needed it.

GIL

Well, I'm glad I was handy, but really anybody could have done it.

ARTHUR

Anyway, I wanted to be sure I properly expressed my gratitude.

GIL

I suppose you were thinking of the old saying.

ARTHUR

Which old saying is that?

GIL

‘The sting of ingratitude is sharper than a Spanish whip.'

ARTHUR

Oh yes. Is THAT how it goes?

GIL

Well, originally, it was probably in Spanish.

ARTHUR

I mean I thought it was infidelity.

GIL

Excuse me?

ARTHUR

I always thought it went, ‘The sting of infidelity is sharper than a Spanish whip.'

GIL

Well, I suppose that sounds more Spanish.

ARTHUR

I guess it works either way.

GIL

Oh God! I am certainly a wonderful friend!

ARTHUR

What makes you say that?

GIL

I haven't even offered you a drink!

ARTHUR

Ah! Well, I wouldn't say no to a scotch.

GIL

You've got it!

ARTHUR

And I believe we have something to drink to.

GIL

Now come on, I simply gave her a jump start, let's not—

ARTHUR

No, I mean you and Deborah getting back together.

GIL

How did you know that?

ARTHUR

Debbie herself told me.

GIL

(He looks at him) You saw Deborah? Where was this?

ARTHUR

You won't believe this.

GIL

That sounds intriguing.

ARTHUR

Well, my friend, you know what happened with you and Denise the other night?

GIL

You mean… No! You and Deborah!

ARTHUR

The exact same thing! I'm afraid her battery was very low.

GIL

And you gave her a jump?

ARTHUR

It's an amazing coincidence, isn't it?

GIL

My God! It would really be unbelievable…

ARTHUR

That is what I said.

GIL

…if it wasn't you telling me!

ARTHUR

Of course coincidences do happen.

GIL

Well, well, now it looks like I owe you the gratitude.

ARTHUR

No, no. As you said, don't be silly. It was my pleasure.

GIL

Well, I can at least offer you that drink. (He hands him one) What shall we drink to?

ARTHUR

To coincidence? To friendship? How about our wives? (They drink.)

(Blackout.)