Just a Simulation

by

Carissa Halston

 

The last time I did it was in college.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t attractive.

It was the faces he made

During it.

Growling, curling-of-the-upper-lip kind of faces.

And then he’d growl.

While it may have been sexy on some men, it was NOT on him.

And when he’d finish,

He’d nod and say, “Yeah…yeah, that’s it. Right there.”

As if I were groin-deep in him.

And he’d clench his jaw and breathe through his teeth.

But as if that weren’t bad enough,

He wouldn’t even get to that point unless I’d arrived first.

So, I’d fake it.

Anyone with half a brain would’ve known.

I’d be thinking of other things.

Papers I had due,

The fact that his body against mine would cause me to break out,

That sort of thing.

And I’d be just about bone dry.

But he’d be pumping away.

Like he’d struck oil.

Digging in my proverbial sand.

Only there was no oasis.

And he was no mirage.

So, I’d grip the sheets and squeeze with everything I had.

And he bought it.

Every time.